Wednesday, June 29, 2011

keep tinkering

well i keep tinkering with the punctuation on MORNING WALK TO GET THE PAPER. hope it's not dizzying for you.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

morning walk to get the paper

soft flight of birds
hear wings
leaving twisted wire--
crunch into
apple delight,
pale yellow with
clouds of green,
bite 'round
bits of bad
stopped in tracks
by massive black limbs
and slender leaves
on gum trees
mirrored in a
puddle of silver
also slender.
a tiny permutation
a ripple
wider arcs
spilling out
a breeze?
a drop
from sky?
drop drop
here there
life is so

as i posted in the last blog, i'm still tinkering with punctuation. any suggestions? i started out with only 2 question marks: the ones after breeze and sky. i liked the flow and the simplicity, but then was afraid i was demanding too much of the reader. what say you?